dear doula, read the books you hate.

My opinions of just about everything "birth" have changed and adjusted over the 14 years I have worked in the birth industry including the books I recommend to various clients.

There are SEVERAL books that are on various doulas "hate list".  That list varies from doula to doula and for a variety of reasons.

Titles can range from Spiritual Midwifery By Ina May Gaskin to Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems by Dr Ferber and hundreds of other titles based on your views of the birth industry, your own parenting style, and what you consider safe and appropriate.

I never wanted to read a long list of books that I had heard from other doulas or other birth professionals I looked up to told me were "bad".

Without researching or reading them myself, I jumped on the bandwagon and repeated what those that I looked up to said was wrong with the books.

Years later, I've learned a few things:

I was providing mis-information to clients and others about the books. Many times because I hadn't actually read it myself and was just passing on information that was passed on and on and on down the line. Ever play the telephone game as a kid and the ending message is absolutely NOTHING like the beginning message? That was happening over and over again with the information I was sharing with my clients.

I was not able to have an educated discussion.  If I were trying to debate my own thoughts and beliefs with someone who had read the book, I was not able to do so because I did not have the complete background knowledge and it showed.

J actually found out that a few of them actually had small tidbits of information that was valid and important in working with a wide variety of clients.

Read the books!

Our job as doulas/birth professionals is to provide evidence based, educated information. We are doing both ourselves and our clients a disservice by not being able to intelligently provide the information to our clients or have discussions with nurses, OB's, pediatricians, about certain topics.

Tips on reading those books you didn't want to touch:

Don't buy new. Use your library or used book store so no money is going to an organization or author you do not want to support.

Do your best to have an open mind while reading them. Use it as a fact finding mission. Attempt to find one small tidbit of useful information. If you begin with a negative mindset, you'll likely not be able to be un-biased or be able to get through the book. You may likely find, it still isn't a book you do not support and that's great. You will be able to discuss your personal WHY's for not supporting the information.

Take breaks! Many times you'll be angry as you read. Step away and come back later or in a few days.

Take notes on both the good and the bad. This way you can provide educated information directly from the source.

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I recommend reading one book on your "hate list" every six months, to gain valuable information for both yourself and your clients.