 Let’s be honest: following up can feel like emotional roulette. Did they forget to answer you? Are they ignoring you? Should you check in again? Are you being annoying? And if you’re neurodivergent, that whole decision-making process can come with a side of rejection sensitivity, time blindness, executive dysfunction, and a well-worn loop of overthinking. So how do you figure out when to follow up, when to let something go, and how to actually do it without frying your brain? Let’s break it down. When You Should Follow Up
When You Don’t Need to Follow Up
Why Following Up Is So Hard When You’re NeurodivergentIf any of these sound familiar, you’re not alone:
 7 Tips for Following Up with a Neurodivergent Brain
TL;DR Deb's final thoughts
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 You became a doula because you care — deeply. You’re the one people call when they need calm in the chaos, a nonjudgmental ear, or someone who just gets it. You didn’t get into this work for the money. But at some point, you probably realized… you also can’t do it for free. That realization often comes with a side of guilt — maybe even shame. Because if you really care, wouldn’t you do it no matter what? Wouldn’t you help anyone who needs it, regardless of their budget? Let’s talk about that. The “Good Doula” MythSomewhere along the way, many of us absorbed the message that being a “good doula” means being endlessly available, infinitely generous, and totally okay with undercharging. Especially if you’re neurodivergent, you may already have a complicated relationship with value and worth. Maybe you were told you’re “too sensitive” or “not focused enough,” so when someone hesitates at your rate, your brain whispers, See? You’re not worth it. But here’s the truth: Caring doesn’t mean discounting. You can be deeply compassionate and charge sustainable rates. You can want to help and pay your bills. These things are not in conflict — unless someone else benefits from keeping you small. The Neurodivergent TwistIf you’re neurodivergent, money mindset can feel even heavier. You might:
Let’s be clear: you’re not broken — your nervous system is just trying to keep you safe. When I first started as a doula, I would give my rate, and then in the same breath, tell them that I can take less.  Reframe: Charging = CapacityHere’s a gentler truth: When you charge sustainably, you protect your capacity to keep helping. Undercharging leads to burnout, resentment, and eventually stepping away — not because you don’t care, but because you can’t sustain it. That helps no one. Charging enough allows you to:
Try This Instead:
Want to Go Deeper?If you’ve been undercharging, over giving, or avoiding money altogether… you’re not alone. I’ve been there. Let’s talk about how to shift your mindset, your pricing, and your confidence — without turning into someone you’re not. Join my mentorship list and grab my free resource here  You don’t have to do it the “normal” way to be successful.If you’re a neurodivergent doula—whether you’re ADHD, autistic, or identify somewhere else on the neurodivergent spectrum—you’ve probably already noticed that a lot of “business advice” feels like it wasn’t written for you and I. “Just network more!” “Be consistent on Instagram!” “Push through the fear and hustle harder!” Nope. That kind of advice might work for some, but for neurodivergent folks, it can feel exhausting, inauthentic, or downright impossible. Here’s the good news: You can build a thriving, sustainable doula business that fits your brain and honors your needs. You don’t have to mask, hustle, or burn out to make it work. Let’s break down a few truths and tips to help you grow your business your way. Your Differences Are a Strength, Not a LiabilityYour ability to tune in deeply, notice subtle patterns, or communicate creatively? That’s gold as a doula. Your brain might process information differently—and that means you bring a unique perspective to birth support that your clients will love. Let yourself lean into your strengths. You don’t have to do everything like other doulas to serve beautifully. Create Systems That Match Your BrainTraditional organization might not work for you—and that’s okay.
Below are some of my own systems! I need to be able to see everything all the time AND be able to find things when I need. Giant wall calendars with sticky notes, sticky notes on the wall, organizers with dopamine inducing pens, and a not so organized desk with MY organization! Be Real With Your Clients (and Yourself)If masking is part of your day-to-day life, running a business can bring even more pressure to “seem professional.” But here’s a secret: your ideal clients are drawn to authenticity, not perfection. You don’t need to overshare your specific neurospicey info, but you can be transparent about your working style. For example: “I’m really detail-oriented and communicative over email. I don’t usually do phone calls, but I always respond promptly via text or messages.” Set expectations that feel good to you—and the right clients will appreciate it. Avoid the Comparison TrapYou might not post every day. You might not network in loud rooms. You might need rest more often. That doesn’t make you “less than.” That makes you human—and honest about what helps you thrive. The doula who seems to “have it all together” on Instagram? They have their own struggles, too. Stay in your lane, protect your energy, and trust your process. One of my favorite lines from another neurodiverse business owner is, "Batch content when the mood hits, so it LOOKS like you are consistent." What that looks like for me is that maybe once a week or maybe once a month when I have the energy, the brain power, and the dopamine to make content for my groups, I will do about a month at a time. I can write 3 blog posts in a day, and then not touch it again until the next time the right mood hits. Build a Support System That Gets YouSurround yourself with other birthworkers and mentors who understand neurodivergence—or are open to learning. Being in a space where you don’t have to explain yourself constantly can be a game-changer. And if you haven’t found that space yet? You’re always welcome in mine. Deb's final thoughts:Being neurodivergent doesn’t mean you have to change who you are to succeed. In fact, the more you lean into what works for you, the more magnetic and sustainable your business will become. You are not too much. You are not broken. You are not behind. You are exactly the right kind of doula—and your people are looking for you.  When you're just starting out as a doula, it’s easy to think you need to list every certification, technique, and training you've ever taken to “sell yourself.” But here’s the truth: Most clients don’t hire a doula because you know the Rebozo or have a fancy acronym after your name. Have you seen the list of classes and trainings that I took early on in my career?! It was all bullet pointed on my website, but no one ever read it. They hire you because they feel seen, heard, and supported. So what do clients actually want—and how can you confidently communicate that you offer it? Let’s break it down. They want emotional support (not just textbook knowledge).Yes, they want someone who knows birth—but even more, they want someone who makes them feel safe and validated. How to say it: “I’ll be your calm in the chaos—someone who’s there to remind you how strong you are, and help you stay grounded during the big emotions of birth.” They want a sense of calm and confidence.Most birthing people (and partners!) are nervous. They want someone who knows what’s normal and what’s not—and who can help them breathe through the unknowns. How to say it: “My job is to hold the space so you can focus on your experience. I’ll help you feel more in control, even when birth doesn’t go according to plan.” They want a doula who supports the partner, too.Clients aren’t looking for someone to replace their partner. They want someone who helps their partner shine. How to say it: “I love supporting both of you. I can guide your partner in how to best support you, so you feel like a team—and they feel confident too.”  They want someone who explains things clearly.It’s easy to forget that not everyone speaks “birth.” Most clients are overwhelmed by medical jargon and just want someone who breaks it down simply. How to say it: “I’m here to help you understand your options so you can make the choices that feel right for your family—without the medical overwhelm.” They want someone who fits their vibe.This one’s big. They want to feel like you get them—whether they’re crunchy, clinical, spiritual, or somewhere in between. How to say it: “Every family is unique, and I meet you where you are. I’m not here to push a certain kind of birth—I’m here to support the one that feels right for you.” Bonus tip for this one: If you are really a certain vibe, then use that and promote it! While we can be a doula for a lot of people, we do NOT have to be a doula for everyone. Deb's Final Thoughts:You don’t need to impress clients with your resume. You need to connect with them as a real human. When you speak to what they’re actually looking for—comfort, confidence, clarity—they’ll know you’re the right doula for them. And remember: it’s okay to keep practicing how you say these things. Your words don’t have to be perfect—they just have to be you.  Learn from the Missteps So You Can Focus on What Actually WorksWhen you’re just getting started as a doula, it’s easy to feel like you have to do everything all at once to get your name out there. But not all strategies are a good use of your time (or energy). In fact, some common newbie moves can actually slow your growth or lead to a whole lot of frustration. Let’s talk about what not to do so you can redirect your energy toward actions that really move the needle. Reaching Out to OBs or Midwives Right AwayThis one feels like a no-brainer…until you realize it’s not. Yes, you want to build relationships with care providers, but here's the truth: most OBs and midwives won’t take you seriously until they see you in action. Cold emails or dropping off business cards at their offices rarely leads to real referrals in the beginning. Instead: Focus on getting your first few births under your belt. Over time, let your professionalism and consistency speak for you. Over-explaining the Benefits of Having a DoulaYes, doulas are amazing (you know it, I know it). But spending all your social media energy educating people on the generic benefits of hiring a doula makes it hard for potential clients to see why they should hire you. Instead: Share your personal “why,” highlight real stories, and focus on what makes your approach unique. Build connection, not just education. Would you like more information on what to post on social media? Read "What to Post on Social Media as a New Doula"  Hosting “Meet the Doula” Events That Don’t Attract AnyoneYou book a room, print flyers, make snacks, and… no one shows. It happens. These events can be great in theory, but they rarely work when you're brand new and don’t yet have a strong local following. Instead: Partner with other local birth pros to host joint events or offer free online talks with juicy topics (see some examples at the end!). Would you like 10 talks you can do online or in person with notes, an outline, information on how to promote it turn it into clients? Get "Talk Your Way to Booked" Spending Hours Perfecting Your Website Before You Even Talk to PeopleWebsites are helpful — but they are not your #1 priority when you're trying to get clients. Don’t get lost in logo fonts, color palettes, or blog post drafts while avoiding actual networking or client outreach. Instead: Start simple. Use a basic landing page or skip the website all together for a while and just focus on social media. Spend most of your time talking to real people — online and in person. Thinking You Need More Certifications to Be "Ready"This was my personal biggest mistake! If you've already taken one solid doula training, you’re ready to begin. Many new doulas fall into the trap of taking training after training as a form of procrastination. Instead: You become a better doula by being a doula. Get experience, then invest in further training when you feel called — not because you feel unworthy. Want to Know What To Do Instead?Start building real relationships in women's networking groups, parenting spaces, and online communities. Share your story, listen to others, and be visible consistently. Offer value, not just your services. Oh — and if you're going to offer a free talk, make it juicy! Instead of “What Is a Doula?” try topics like:
Deb's final tip: You’ve got this. Focus on connection, visibility, and growing your confidence — not chasing strategies that don’t serve you yet. Would you like more detailed information on hosting free talks? Grab my printable.  You’ve done the training, you’ve got the passion, and now you’re ready to support families… but how do you get those first clients?The truth is, getting started as a doula can feel overwhelming. You know you have something incredible to offer, but you’re unsure how to get the word out. Here’s the good news: there are many ways to connect with potential clients that feel natural, aligned, and even fun. Start with Your CircleDon’t underestimate the power of friends and family. Make sure the people closest to you know you’re a doula and understand what that means. Many doulas get their first clients from someone in their network—either directly or through a referral. Deb's Tip: Create a short and sweet message you can share with loved ones about what you do and how they can help you grow—like keeping you in mind for referrals or sharing your posts on social media. Network Like a Human, Not a SalespersonYes, it’s time to get out there—but this doesn’t mean just joining birth-specific spaces. While it’s important to connect with other doulas and local birth professionals (childbirth educators, lactation consultants, chiropractors, etc.), don’t limit yourself. Look into women-owned business groups, local mom-preneur meetups, and even general small business networking circles. People love connecting with purpose-driven professionals, and your story as a doula is powerful. Just a heads-up: You probably won’t get clients directly from these networking groups—and that’s totally okay. These spaces are more about building relationships than closing sales. The real magic comes from people in the group spreading the word about you to their own networks. Deb's Tip: When networking, focus on being genuinely curious. Ask others about their work, share your passion, and let connections grow naturally. Your doula work will come up, and people will remember your energy. Host Free Community Talks (That Aren’t Just “What Is a Doula?”)Free events are a great way to build trust and visibility, especially if you offer value beyond the basics. Yes, people want to know what a doula is—but you’ll stand out more if your topic speaks directly to their real concerns. Creative ideas for free talks:
Use Social Media to Share Stories, Not Just FactsInstead of flooding your feed with educational posts about what doulas do, sprinkle in your why. Share personal stories, behind-the-scenes moments, and client wins (with permission). Share silly things like your favorite food or your never eat food and your hobbies. People can relate to you and feel a connection. Let people get to know you, not just your role. Want more info on what to post? Get my free 100+ Social Media Post Ideas for Birthworkers  Create PartnershipsThis one is a tricky one that many new doulas can do wrong. Think about professionals who serve the same audience as you—photographers, prenatal yoga teachers, massage therapists, baby boutiques—and reach out for a coffee chat. You don’t need to create formal collaborations. Just building relationships can lead to referrals down the road. Just remember that you want to get to know THEM so that you can refer THEM to your potential clients. Just don't walk in and try to sell yourself. Be real, be genuine, and take an interest in them. Volunteer with IntentionSome doulas choose to offer their services at a reduced rate or through a local nonprofit to get started. If you go this route, make sure it’s aligned with your values and includes a clear exchange—like testimonials or referrals (not just free labor forever). Deb's tip: Be cautious with this one. Doing too much giving without any receiving can burn you out. Most new doulas quit in the first two years because they burnt out. Get Visible LocallyHere are a few more ways to get your name out there:
Deb's Final Thoughts: Getting Clients Starts with Confidence-Even When You Fake ItYour energy and passion are your best marketing tools. When you speak confidently about your work—even to one person at a time—it creates ripples. The key is showing up consistently, even when you’re still building your confidence. You don’t need a perfect website or a giant following to get your first client. You just need to start showing up.  When you're just starting out as a doula, one of the scariest (and most important) questions you’ll hear is:“Why should I hire you?” Your instinct might be to talk about all the benefits of having a doula — better outcomes, lower C-section rates, continuous support — and those are great. But here’s the thing: they’re not hiring a doula, they’re hiring you. And what most families really want to know is: “What’s it like to have you by my side?” Let’s break down how to answer with confidence — without needing decades of experience. Don’t Just Sell Doulas — Share YouIt’s easy to hide behind the general benefits of doula care. But remember: they already Googled that. Now, they want to know what makes you special. What do you bring that no one else does? Is it your calm voice? Your fierce advocacy? Your ability to read the room? Your care doesn’t come from a textbook — it comes from who you are. Example: “I’m the kind of doula who brings both calm and clarity to intense moments. I’m not just there to hold your hand — I’m there to help you feel powerful and in control.” Share Your “Why”People connect with people. Telling your story builds trust. Maybe you were inspired by your own birth, maybe you supported a friend and knew this work was for you. Share what pulled you toward birth work. Example: “I became a doula because I know how vulnerable birth can be — and I want every family to feel supported, seen, and confident in their voice.” Talk About the Relationship, Not Just the RoleBirth is intimate. It’s not a transaction — it’s a connection. Let them know this isn’t just a job for you, it’s a relationship you take seriously. Example: “You’re not just hiring a service — you’re inviting someone into a sacred, life-changing moment. I treat that with so much respect and care.”  Let Your Personality ShineThis is where a lot of new doulas freeze up — trying to sound “professional” and ending up sounding like everyone else. You don’t need to be a robot doula. You need to be you. Do you bring calm energy, fierce organization, gentle touch, or warm humor? Let that come through in your words. Example: “I’m a calm-in-the-storm kind of person. I show up grounded, organized, and ready to support you in your birth journey, not someone else’s script.” Deb's Final ThoughtIf you only talk about why doulas are helpful, they’ll remember the profession. If you talk about who you are and how you support, they’ll remember you. When someone asks “Why should I hire you?” — don’t shrink. That question is your chance to show them that you’re not just another doula… you’re their doula. Want more tips like this? Join the free community on Facebook!  So you've taken the trainings, you've cried over the birth videos (it's a rite of passage, really), and you're officially a doula. Congratulations!Now comes the question I hear all the time: "What should I post on social media as a new doula....especially if I haven't had any/many clients yet?" First of all, take a breath. You don’t need a perfect content calendar or 10K followers to make an impact. You just need to start showing up in ways that feel true to you. Here are some simple, effective ideas to help you build visibility, confidence, and connection—without the overwhelm. Introduce Yourself (Yes, Again!)If you haven’t already posted a warm hello, now’s the time. Share your story. Why did you become a doula? What lights you up about supporting families? You don’t need a polished video or a professional headshot—just a photo of you and a few heartfelt sentences go a long way. Pro Tip: Reintroduce yourself every few months! New followers are always finding you, and your story evolves as you grow. Let People See You, Not Just a DoulaHere’s the thing—there are a lot of posts out there about “Why hire a doula?” But what your future clients really want to know is, “Why hire YOU as my doula?” Don’t be afraid to let your personality shine. Share what kind of support you love offering. Do you bring calm energy? Hype-woman energy? Are you the doula who always remembers snacks or folds laundry while checking in postpartum? These little glimpses of you are what help people feel safe, connected, and ready to reach out. Make sure your content isn’t all generic education or quotes. That stuff has its place—but your people want to know the human behind the handle. Talk About What a Doula Actually DoesMany people still don’t understand what a doula is. Share bite-sized pieces of what we really do: “We don’t replace partners—we support them too,” or “We provide emotional and physical support, not medical care.” Education posts like this build trust and position you as someone who knows their stuff. YES! YOU DO KNOW YOUR STUFF!  Join Local Facebook Mom Groups (and Contribute)This is one of my favorite low-pressure visibility tools. Join a few local parenting Facebook groups—but don’t go in just to promote yourself. Look for posts where someone is asking about birth, support, or pregnancy. Answer helpfully and only mention you’re a doula if it’s relevant. This shows you’re generous, knowledgeable, and approachable. I see a lot of new doulas post in the mom's groups something like "Hi, I'm a new doula and the first 4 people that respond to me will get my services as half price!" While it's a great offer, it normally does not get comments or clients. First, let them get to know you as a person in the group. Answer questions you can answer and not just about birth and doula work when someone asks, but if you know a great Italian restaurant, comment about that, too. Let people get to know YOU. Connect with Other Doulas (Community, Not Competition!)Find your local doula Facebook groups and start building connections. Introduce yourself, comment on posts, and respond when someone is unavailable. That’s your opportunity to offer backup or introduce yourself for future referrals. You’d be surprised how many clients come your way just because another doula couldn’t take them! Share Helpful TipsEven if you haven’t attended many births, you have knowledge to share! Try posts like:
You’re building value and positioning yourself as someone who supports before and beyond the birth. Show the Behind-the-ScenesPeople love seeing what goes on in your day. Post about prepping your doula bag, your favorite birth books, or how you reset after a long week. These give a personal, authentic feel to your account and help people trust you’re a real person—not just a professional title. Post Encouragement & AffirmationsWhether it’s for pregnancy, postpartum, or just a “you’re doing great” vibe, encouraging words go a long way. These posts feel supportive, easy to share, and reinforce your calm and caring presence. Celebrate Small WinsYou don’t have to wait for a fully booked calendar to celebrate. Did someone book a consult? Did you finish a new training? Did another doula send a referral your way? Share it! These show that your business is active and growing—and give your audience a sense of momentum. Just remember to not share private information about clients/potential clients. Want more ideas of topics to post on social media?Grab my free guide 100+ Post Ideas for Birthworkers Deb's Final Thoughts: Be Consistent, Be YouYou don’t have to post every day or be on every platform. Pick one or two places (Instagram and Facebook are great starting points) and commit to showing up regularly. Use your real voice. Don’t water yourself down. People don’t hire doulas because of perfectly curated graphics. They hire doulas because of trust, connection, and personality. Let them see yours.  You’re passionate, educated, and deeply committed to supporting families during one of the most important moments of their lives. But instead of feeling excited to launch your business… you feel frozen. You scroll social media and think: “They’re more experienced than me. They have real clients. Who am I to charge money for this?” If that inner voice sounds familiar, I want you to know: you’re not alone. Imposter syndrome is incredibly common among new doulas and more experienced doulas as you grow—especially those who are empathetic, introverted, and care deeply about doing this work well. The good news? You can overcome it. Let’s talk about how. 1. Recognize Imposter Syndrome for What It Is: A Liar in Fancy Shoes.Imposter syndrome doesn’t show up because you’re unqualified—it shows up because you care. It’s that nagging inner critic whispering that you’re not ready, even after completing training, studying endlessly, and showing up with an open heart. But here's the truth: confidence doesn’t come before the work. It comes through the work. Action creates clarity. The more you show up, the quieter that voice becomes. 2. You Don’t Need 100 Clients to Be a Good DoulaI will say this over and over again. One of the biggest lies new doulas believe is that “experience” only counts if you’ve attended dozens of births. But every single doula—including the ones you look up to--started with zero clients. What makes a great doula isn’t numbers—it’s presence, compassion, and the ability to hold space. And you already have those qualities. You don’t need to be the most experienced doula in the room. You just need to be the right doula for the right client. 3. Speak to Your Strengths (Even If You’re Just Starting Out)Maybe you haven’t attended many births yet—but you’ve got other lived experiences that matter. Are you a parent yourself? A great listener? Have you supported friends through postpartum or other emotional life events? Your training and life experience both count. Instead of trying to sound like someone else, show up as you. The right clients will be drawn to your honesty, not your resume.  4. Create a “Proof File”Keep a folder—physical or digital—of encouraging words, client feedback, trainer comments, or even screenshots of texts where someone said, “Thank you, that helped so much.” On the days imposter syndrome kicks in, revisit that file. It's real proof that you're making a difference, even if your brain says otherwise. 5. Get Support—You Don’t Have to Do This AloneImposter syndrome thrives in isolation. Talk to a mentor, join a community, or find a business buddy to walk alongside you. When you realize other doulas feel the exact same way, it becomes a lot easier to keep moving forward. If you're looking for someone who understands what it's like to start from scratch, question your value, and still build a business that aligns with your values--I'm here for you. You don’t have to figure this out alone. Grab my Overcoming Imposter Syndrome workbook. Struggling with imposter syndrome as a new doula? You’re not alone—and you don’t have to stay stuck. This gentle mini-course walks you through 5 powerful mindset shifts to help you stop overthinking and start showing up with confidence. You’ll learn how to reframe self-doubt, stop hiding behind “one more training,” and recognize the value you already bring to your work. Includes supportive examples, journal prompts, and real talk from someone who’s been there. Start now and take your first step toward feeling like the doula you already are. Deb's Final Thought:You don’t need to “become” confident before you start your doula business. You just need to start—and let the confidence grow along the way. You’re more ready than you think.  You’ve finished your training. Your passion for birth support is blazing. Your heart is in this work for all the right reasons. But still, there’s that little voice whispering, |
Deb PocicaA birth professional, lover of shoes and travel, speaker, trainer, and supporter of doulas and small businesses. Archives
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